I Didn't Write This Song
The thing from start to finish
Is just a loop from another song
That I didn't even write
Or change in a transformative way
I'm just looping someone else's work
And saying words over the top
I'm barely doing anything
And these lyrics don't even rhyme
I'm making bank off this song
The copyright holders be damned
I spent a few hours making this
And now everyone's copying me
We'll all be taken to court
And be sued incessantly
And soon we'll have nothing left
Because we're just a bunch of frauds
03/09/2023
Funky
4, the 5 to the 6 7 8 9 10
BIF's theme song comes from the sound of Ben
Real friends come from the place called Fen
At least we do not get our tacky kitchens from Wren
I really know my stuff and I could build a metal rocket
While you sit around all day and collect obscure polly pockets
Rockets might not last but they don't make me pull the socket
Cause I always knew, with my skills that I could prop'ly dock it
I move with my rhymes, but to you they're like sog
But you're so oblivious you've got your head stuck in the bog
I've got a pocket knife and I could chop a log
While you're still looking round, cuz you cannot see through the fog
One day I asked you to get me some fresh filet o fish
You came back with an onion, ate it, said it was delish
I sit around all day, but hey, at least I do things
Because all you ever do is sit back and eat onion rings
Those rhymes are quite inferior, I'll happily admit
But you couldn't even try, as they would sound bad
Oblivious, contrivious, contrived of any meaning
Any rational expression to communicate any feeling
About your lack of vocab, because I am illing
Delusional enough to glue your own stuff to the ceiling
I ate a blatter krokant and I don't know how to feel
But that name makes more sense than you, and so does a seal
You are so old fashioned that you still use reel to reel
And remember that one time I slipped you up on nana peel?
30/11/2021
Poetry in Motion
Roses are red
But flowers aren't grey
Violets are blue
Or so they say
July 17 Freedom Day
Plans in days
But Boris Johnson warns
Some restrictions could stay
01/07/2021
Antibacterial
I made it through my local shop
Rummaged through all the shelves
Didn't know how dirty I was
Until I saw myself
I was stuck, what to do?
I was covered in ancient goo
But then I found some stuff
Yeah, I found some stuff
Made me feel new
Antibacterial
Hand sanitizing gel
Antibacterial
And it cleans my... filthy hands
Gonna clean all those germy germs
The germs are fading fast
Let it set for a while
And wash my hands last
It's go good, it works well
I love my bottle of gel
I hope it never runs out
I have so much doubt
That it would happen
Antibacterial
Hand sanitizing gel
Antibacterial
And it cleans my... filthy hands
Whoa... whoa, ah... whoa.
Stock's run out, buy it all
Janky shelves, make it fall
Check the maintenance
Don't want mess everywhere
Cause you'll need...
Antibacterial
Hand sanitizing gel
Antibacterial
And it cleans my... filthy hands
Antibacterial, oh oh
Antibacterial
Kills most bacteria
It's effective
High demand
None defective
Oh oh, oh
Oh oh oh
25/06/2021
GIMP (listen!)
AYY!!
it's GIMP
it is really a pimp
it's GIMP
And it deserves a blimp
it's GIMP
but it won't make you limp
Like an open source program
It uses up more RAM
like Sheep not a small lamb
It's GIIIIIIMMMPPPP....
(brreeaoourh)
Doot doot dooddodododoo doo....
How much is that little gimp in the window?
(whistling)
What makes you limp, What makes you limp, What makes you limp, GIIIIMP
What makes you limp, What makes you limp, What makes you limp, GIIIIMP
So we wimp, wimp, wimp, GIMP!!
So we wimp, wimp, wimp, gimp.... to fadeout
07/06/2021
It's Fizzy (listen!)
its fizzy like the biz
yall shizzle my pizz
the liddle bidda shizzle
makes me want to piddle
with the carbonation
and the soda stream
little bubbles of bitterness
make you scream
put it in the bottle
give the top a squeeze
if you push too hard
then your bum will wheeze
or the safety valve
is what i mean
but who really cares
when fizz is the theen
fizz is best
fizz is good
it is also nice on wood
if you wood fizz then eat dice
plenty of dosage is quite nice
soda stream and wrap around
safety valve fart make is sound
listen to the pressure build up
like a rear end readdy to bupwup
25/05/2021
Reshape the Land
Re-re, reshape the land
Re-re, reshape the land
Re-re, reshape the land
Reshape the land for science
if you got a little bit of land that needs reshaping
you better do it now or else nature will kick in
(yeaaah land has a shape but most people seem to hate it
and those that do should blame nature for creating it)
Checka the land, a jump on the mound
I know you like the feeling
But when the land's reshapen
your head'll go through the ceiling
(nature has no ceiling but i don't really care
cause all that matters is reshaping land there and there)
Re-re, reshape the land
Re-re, reshape the land
Re-re, reshape the land
Reshape the land for science
Jump around, and hear the sound of
water sloshing around
When you hit the mound you're bound to
make the shape round
(reshape the land like you've never done before
you're helping the enviroment and that i'm sure of)
The pumps must run if you're around the Ruhrs
No pumps means that the shape becomes a bore
(we need some wackiness on this earth
because we like mangling with nature's birth)
Re-re, reshape the land
Re-re, reshape the land
Re-re, reshape the land
Reshape the land for science
03/05/2021
Inaff Rap
Ren and Stimpy, need a new fine
I never watched the show because I never have time
But I'm not into cartoons anyway
because I make games more than I play
Why mention fines? No one knows
But if you say that this rap blows
then I will exclaim that your nose
is the size of a temple with a rose
on top of it. Don't say that my rhymes are
bluffing it. Because I will tell you to
shut it. Becuase, I'm the best
at it. You better believe, baby
Why say infant when you can say that
But I'd rather a cat over either of those
See how my salami glows
at the thought of some really serious bows
TBP is all you see
It's good for me when I play Wii
Sports. Resort, contorting conformities
Spurting out rhymes like some red tees
I like the feel of a summer breeze
So put your shorts on and let your knees
feel the wind, for it is not sinned
And you should be outside to begin with.
You're a hermit and should get outdoors
Instead of rolling around on the floor.
What are you, a dog or something?
Get some sun and eat some ice cream!
If you're hearing me rap outside
then kudos, to you, my friend, you abide.
Name a better rapper than me, I'll wait
If my rhymes were food, there'd be a clean plate
You'd have eaten it all and felt really good
My only competition are in the hood
But wait, I started with Ren and Skimpy
But with these topics I am not skimpy
I could be rapping on for days
about my brilliant rhyming ways
And floppy disks are rather cool
they forget everything unlike a tape spool
They're not reliable, and that's a fact
but the point I'm making is that's a RAP!!
13/04/2021
Tisarap
there it is...or is it
it might be...i dont know
what was i looking for again i cant remember
cause it is two months after september
i was formerly a really valued member of a society of people who liked november
this beat is edacious and my rhymes are fat
just like a morbidly overfed cat
whose owner never realized that he could spit sick rhymes all over my hat
and that's probably a bad euphemism
but not meant in the way of schism
tracker which is nice bit of software, runs on pretty limited hardware
it's good to use while sitting on a chair and you have long fuzzy hair
it makes the experience so much better if i used it too much id get a letter
saying thAT im a loyal user of this lovely thingy tracker
that is really good and nice
and spice and dice and rice.
26/11/2020
Jumper Song
i need to take my jumper off
i need to take my jumper off
i need to take my jumper off
i need to take my jumper off
i need to take my jumper off
i need to take my jumper off
i need to take my jumper off
i need to take my jumper off
dumbledore, dumbledore
jumper off, jumper off
dumbledore, dumbledore
jumper off, jumper off
dumbledore, jumper off
dumbledore, jumper off
dumbledore, jumper off
dumbledore, jumper off
dumbledore, dumbledore,
dumbledore, dumbledore,
dumbledumbledumbledumble
J-J-J-J-JUMPER OFF!!!!
(epic drop)
11/11/2020
Molly Pollard
Molly Pollard, Molly Pollard.
Molly Pollard, Molly Pollard
pull up at the pollard
there is molly pollard
she has a pet mallard
that hits stuff with a bollard
her name's on a site called carrd
formerly worked as a guard
she wanted her name put on the site
but it was very hard!!
Molly molly pollard pollard molly molly pollard
molly pollard molly polly molly polly pollard.
Molly likes lollies, her relative's called polly
she owns a massive set of polly pocket branded dollies
She always feeling lucky when her safe's lock is a locky
and she's skimpy with her pocket so she can get pretty cocky!
31/10/2020
Rubish
I don't wanna hear your rubish, dont wanna hear your rubish!
ruby rooby rubish, not rubbish, it's rubbish
Rubbish has 2 b's rubish has 1.
Rubish is the way and rubbish is not
News is rubish, not rubbish, it's rubish.
its bein said, lets go to bed
by the song why would it say that
wringing water is funner thn hearing it
22/10/2020
Aboot the One Wiv Da Catchy Rifff
I hate this song so much
the only reason it's popular is the riff
The vocals are so annoying
I want to make a gif of myself pulling the hair out of the lead singer
searching the trend, ending with the trade
no one knows why this song was made
This song deserves to be in the shade
and I wanna wade out of this muddy LAD(k)E
its bad, its awful and really not good
i'd rather eat 20 year old food
as long as its got no green bits on it
if it does then just scrape them off it
(chorus)
I was at the supermarket watching people eat limes
I started thinking bout why people hear it all the time
This song sucks, it blows it's awful
Releasing such rubbish it seriously unlawful
not that anyone listens to it anyway
I still hate this song in every way.
(chorus)
16/10/2020
We Better Get Some Work Done
Get some work done, get some get some work done!
You wanna get some work done? You better get some work done!
You need to get your pen and paper, come on, get some work done!
Stop slacking, you lazy bum.
15/10/2020
God Damn News
God damn news!
Unless you play some music, the volumes staying down
God damn news!
I don't want to hear the same old thing all day
v1:
I get up in the morning and I turn up the volume
Due to the station I'm tuned into, I was half expecting certain doom
And it's no surprise that the same song was playing
that I heard only yesterday, it's the exact same thing!
I get fed up, and I tune in elsewhere
only to find absolute rubbish over there!
It's some bloke babbling about everything bad
Radio these days really makes me mad.
(chorus)
v2:
I put up with monotony throughout the day
I usually have my headphones on anyway
when there's rubbish songs on the air
because otherwise i'd be pulling out my hair!
It's getting really late, I've had dinner and some snacks
Then i decide to turn the volume back
up to hear what is going on
turns out at night they play some really good songs!
(chorus 2x)
I spend all night dancing around my room,
only to find out I have to go to bed soon
so I make the most of the nice stuff that's playing
i record some of it to tape so I can listen to it again!!
PEACE.
12/10/2020
Another One
Oh, let's go
Domino's is at the door
With some nice fresh food
They start knocking at the door
And I get in the mood
Are you ready, are you ready for this?
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?
Out of the door, I extract the dip
and I get ready to eat YEAAHHHH
Another one's added to the collection
Another one's added to the collection
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one's added to the collection
Hey, I'm gonna eat you too
Another one's added to the collection
06/09/2020
Goo-Drap
Twazza horrible burp and i
should'nt have burped, so
im sorry i burped, i dont
know why i burped
06/07/2020
Break Centric
Break centric, centred on breaks.
You would think so if you liked hot steaks.
I'm a man for steak, and I like it well done
and If you think otherwise then you had better run
Cause i am the man who nows whats what
and I'm packed full of rhymes unlike a flyswat
I top my verses off with lacks of slang
and if you like the rhythm, then give your lap a bang
Oh yeah, you better like this
cause I never ride on a trike anymore.
Those days are gone, and out and through
And if we all stop then you should too.
Smoking is bad, but good for your elf
they pack and load stuff off of the shelf
Though we're locked down, we can escape
by listening to this song on an old tape
Give you lap an bang and give your hips a wobble
it'll make you float around like a massive BUBBLE
I told you I could rhyme and that aint no lie
when I tell you that I really like steak and ale pie
Oh baby, lets get it on
like a bowl of chips drowned in loads of vinegar
I have no intentions of looking sinister
After this song, I won't have blisters
Mm. Yes. Alright.
yes. wat. wutut.
03/05/2020
This Love Song is Wirk on Progess
Your incredibubble and youre amazing.
Your the best thing thats ever happened ever... (happened)
I just want to tell you something
thatll probably make your day.
You light up my world and sett me on fire!
I never thought you'd believe..
you bring me some smiles and bit of dessert
because i need my sugar cholestoral and intake of fat
(x2)
I dont want to see anyone else
because you cannot impove on perfection
you are so nice and very good
i actually think youre okay, and the best one
You light up my world snad set me on fire.
You are my biggest and one desire
even though I've already me you
we are still to gether.
(x680001)
(spoken). Girl. you're the best. I like you a lot and you're very good.
I like the way you sing the song even though you cannot sing...
you are the most goodest personage of persons ever to exist girlly gir;l.
15/03/2020